I saw this on the Birdchat listserv and enjoyed it. And boy, are they true.
1) The older we get, the colder it feels while birding. Global warming is counterbalanced by personal cooling.
2) The possibility of seeing a Gyrfalcon is inversely proportional to the listing need.
3) Red Crossbills never land. Never. As in nada.
4) “It was just here 10 minutes ago.” (Note also spring, summer & fall birding rules.)
5) Boreal Chickadees respond to pishing. Once a decade.
6) Golden Crowned Kinglets have three distinct calls. Except when Brown Creepers are also in the area.
7) Cardinals will sing in the winter. Period. This is not an event, but a ruse.
8) Walk the snowy winter trail. Miss the bird. Walk back on the winter trail. Miss the bird again. Warm up the car, see the (potential) bird fly by, binoculars fog. Until the bird disappears.
9) Vagrants always occur in the portion of the state farthest from you. If vagrants do occur in your area, your schedule will become unbelievably jammed – until the day after it leaves.
10) Prayer does help. But God also has a sense of humor.